


I Only Want You

by calie15



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-15 11:37:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8054788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calie15/pseuds/calie15
Summary: Bucky returns from a mission to confront Jemma about what lies unspoken between them.





	I Only Want You

Bucky frowned as he watched Jemma clean his wounds with clinical detachment and then quickly moved away to allow Fitz to repair the damage to his arm, but she didn’t leave. Instead, she moved around the lab as if he wasn’t there, ignoring everything that was said between Fitz and himself and conducted business as usual.

“Well, I think that’s it,” Fitz said as he sat up. “Good as new, although I still suggest we sit down and go through some of those improvements I suggested,” Fitz said and rolled back.

“Maybe next time,” Bucky responded, distracted as he stared at Jemma’s back. “Fitz, a minute if you don’t mind.”

The other man glanced at Jemma and frowned. Bucky was well area of the unrequited feelings on Fitz’s part. But he nodded and walked out the lab, without Jemma even acknowledging his exit.

Standing, Bucky looked down at his left arm, opened and closed his fingers, and flexed it to be to assure himself the plates again moved smoothly. When satisfied, he turned his attention back to the matter at hand. Slowly, he moved his way towards Jemma and stopped behind her. “Jemma.”

He couldn’t see her face, but he could see her hands still on her current task. Gently, he grabbed her elbow and pulled her around, but she didn’t look up at him. 

“You really should put a shirt on. This is still a work place.”

Bucky looked down at his bare chest and then up, cocking an eyebrow at her. “Twenty-four hours ago you were yelling at me. I’m pretty sure you might have even cursed at me.”

“I did no such thing,” she said in a clipped tone and looked away.

Jemma had. She’d called him a selfish asshole. The most important part was that she’d revealed just enough about what she felt. Jemma also told him that he didn’t care how much she would hurt if he died. Bucky still went through with the mission. It was his responsibility to find the bad guys, but he had been more determined after that to come back alive. “I told you we would finish the conversation when I came back.”

“I don’t have anything to say,” she said and continued to look at him defiantly.

Bucky stepped forward and lifted his good hand to her chin and raised it, revealing watery eyes. “Jemma…” He started, but didn’t know what to say. She was crying. Somehow, some way, he’d done something to make her so upset that she was crying. It was hard for Bucky to even fathom that someone, that Jemma, would cry over him.

“You’re so careless,” she whispered, eyes pained. “You take off on these missions to redeem yourself for past wrongs that were not your fault.”

Normally Bucky would argue that they were his fault in some way, but that wasn’t the topic of conversation. “I’m sorry.” He slid his hand over her cheek and tried to find something to say, but he didn’t have the words. Bucky still couldn’t fathom her caring that much.

“Sorry doesn’t make up for it Bucky!” She exclaimed and pushed at his chest.

He didn’t stumble, just swayed backwards.

“You, you, I hate you for this. Why did you do this? Why did you make me care?”

Bucky swallowed at her words, at the emotion on her face and the tears in her eyes. “I don’t want you to care about me. You know that. I don’t deserve that.”

“God!” She screamed and threw up her arms in the air. “You say the most foolish things!” She cried. “All of this nonsense about not being deserving. I didn’t say you didn’t deserve to be cared for! I said why did you make me care!? Especially when you are always on these suicide missions!” She looked at him then, calming slightly. “I don’t want to find out one day that you didn’t come back.”

This is what Bucky had been trying to avoid, the inevitable clash of their feelings. He’d felt it growing for months and he had fought it, he knew they both had. He should walk away to spare them both the pain. But she was crying in front of him, revealing how much she cared. She was crying for him, and he couldn’t walk away from that. Bucky stepped forward and grabbed her face in his hand and pressed a kiss to her forehead, then pressed his lips to hers, and rested his forehead against her own. “I’m sorry,” he whispered and slid his thumbs over her cheeks to wipe away the dampness. He remained there, drawn to her tear stained face, wet lashes, and shining eyes.

“No,” she said and pressed pushed at his chest as to put some distance between them, but she put hardly any effort into it. “Don’t you dare.”

“Why?” He he asked gently.

“Because.”

“Because why?” He asked again.

“I don’t know,” she lamented. “Because this is just really bad timing, and I’m crying, and blotchy, and messy, and gross.”

“You aren’t any of that, but so what?" He asked. She sighed and closed her eyes. He craved to know what she was thinking. When her eyes opened again she slid her hands up and wrapped her arms around his neck. Bucky released her face as she leaned in and buried her face in his neck. Somewhat hesitant, he wrapped his arms around her waist. Part of him was worried that this might be her pulling away. "You know I care about you."

"I know that you can't afford to have emotional connections," she said quietly into his neck.

Bucky sighed and closed his eyes. He'd said exactly that to her months ago. "That was denial." She was silent, but then stepped back, slipping from his arms, and turned away. He reacted more out of panic then anything. "I was trying to be logical. Which is impossible. Jemma I don't fucking care about that. I'm not going to push you away. I want to be with you."

Jemma turned slowly and looked up at him unsurely. "But you-."

"I was stupid," he said and walked closer to her, "and scared."

"Are you sure?" She whispered.

"Yes I'm fucking sure," he said more firmly. "Now can I kiss you?" The small smile that touched her lips was answer enough.


End file.
